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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?